I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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