remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
