Im at strip club and am horny
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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