if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
