I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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