my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize