We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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