the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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