And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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