I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So vagazzling was a success
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
