My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
