it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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