Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
