I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
