with your own penis?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
