I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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