I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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