i just had sex bonerless
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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