Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
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