i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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