Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
