I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
