Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just googled if crying burns calories
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
