Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
