my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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