when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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