If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
