the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
