Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We are two peas in an std pod
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
