This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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