So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
