dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
