This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
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Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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