im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
