This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
