You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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