so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Randomize
