I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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