Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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