Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
