the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
MIDGETS
????
I FOUND THE LEGS
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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