do herpes really smell.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
