Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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