i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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