I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
