just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Randomize
