Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My day in three words: secret purse cake
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
