she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
