Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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