I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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