So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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