Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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