Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
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started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
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There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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