I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize