Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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