It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
