New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
worst night to have a conscience
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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