i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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