we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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