Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
