hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
