Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
