this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
well you can't waste a boner
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Randomize
