White coat. Heels.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
