yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
