I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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