Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
