try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
