its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Use "feeling words"
Yay
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
