I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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