It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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