I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
