And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
