there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
